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Nightmare Lullaby Details

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Legal

All tracks are protected under the EFF's Open Audio License: http://www.eff.org/IP/Open_licenses.  That in itself guarantees this work will never be signed to a major record company contract.

We're proud to say this recording contains explicit lyrics.  If you're 17 or under, get your parents' permission before stealing this CD.

Credits

All music was written by Todd Bradley.

Words were written as follows:

Scott Siders: 3, 4, 6, 7, 12

Todd Bradley: 1, 2, 8, 10, 11

Steve Genoff: 14

Tools Used

This CD was made in the A7 Audio Research Lab using the following pieces of hardware and software:

  • Korg Karma keyboard
  • Tassman 2.0 DXi soft synth
  • EDIROL Virtual Sound Canvas DXi synth
  • DreamStation DXi soft synth
  • Cakewalk Pro Audio 9 and SONAR 1.3
  • Sonic Foundry Sound Forge 5.0 and Acid Pro 2.0
  • Goldwave
  • Zero-X Beat Creator
  • Sound Raider
  • a bunch of DirectX effects

Track Details

  1. The Grunt Song
  2. When You Need It Most
  3. The Way It Is
  4. Spastic Colon
  5. Some Rhythm Please
  6. Nightmare Lullaby
  7. Minor Explosions
  8. What It Sounds Like To Be Todd
  9. Minjyl
  10. Jesus Heals My Feminine Itching
  11. Team 30+ TFC Team 1 Anthem
  12. Flowers
  13. Dance of the Squids
  14. Click It
  15. Bit Rot

1. The Grunt Song 2:19

(O) 404 Not Found - "The Grunt Song" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Medic!  Medic!  Excuse me, I'm in need of medical attention!  Excuse me, I'm in need of medical attention!
Dr. E may have stolen the flag.
Medic!

Voice

|30+|Dr. Ebola - impassioned cries for help

The Half-Life Announcement Computer - narration

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly and audio manipulation

2. When You Need It Most 0:44

(O) 404 Not Found - "It's There When You Need It Most" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

This is Vice President Al Gore.  Over the past few months, I have visited 404 Not Found.  Weather doesn't take a holiday.  Neither does 404 Not Found.  Congress next month will alert 404 Not Found of another one hundred million dollars.  
404 Not Found - it's a lifesaver.  
People of Uganda - if only they had heard 404 Not Found in time.  
404 Not Found - even when you're asleep!  
All countries need 404 Not Found.  
404 Not Found - it's there when you need it most.

Voice

Vice President Al Gore

Music

Todd Bradley - audio manipulation

3. The Way It Is 8:13

(O) 404 Not Found - "The Way It Is" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

I was at one of these institutions of higher learning
sitting in front of this beautiful fountain
            reading Jerome Rothenberg or David Antin
or something incoherent
& this man started talking to me
Well
he wasnít really talking to
                        me
it was more like he was talking to
us
the whole collected
bunch of us out there
I donít think it mattered much to him
just who he was talking to
it was more about the talking
in particular
that interested him
 
He was one of these guys who find you in public places
            & just start talking to you
                        I mean
right at you
but not about anything in particular
(but isnít it always about something in particular?
            On this day it was particularly about God)
 
Now
I know what youíre thinking
                        youíre thinking that this was one of those
Bible-thumping guys
those ainít got personality, but I got Jesus
kind of guys
but see
thatís the thing
This guy was ALL personality
                                                He was personality personified
I mean
he could have been talking about
profit margins in the blender business
& I would still have been hanging on every word
but he wasnít talking about blenders
he was talking about God
            & he wasnít just talking about God
he was talking passionately about God
                                    & in my experience
Iíve found that usually
when people talk about God
            itís particularly passionate
& this was no exception
Except that this guy had more than passion
                                                going for him
He had a strange sort of irreverent
reverence going for him
& being that I got religion early on in life
                                    I understood him
 
Well
I suppose I didnít exactly understand him
not in so much as you can understand a madman
                                    but I understood his passion for words
or at least the passion to want to
really believe in something
because I used to believe in something myself
though I canít recall just what it was
at the moment
But the point is that I understood him
as well as anyone can understand another man
ranting & raving about Jesus
or Mohammed or Buddha
                                    for that matter
                                                But then again
you never see madmen
ranting & raving in front of a fountain
at an institution of higher learning
                                    about Mohammed or Buddha
I guess they keep their madmen
otherwise occupied
            praying or being devout or something
But I should mention that at no point
during his ranting & raving
did a single person look converted
or even say a word to the guy for that matter
but thatís not the point
You see
it was all about the goddamn passion
& I gotta admit
the guy
moved me
I mean
I was truly moved by this man
I mention it so incredulously
because Iím not usually moved
by men
sexually I mean
Not that this guy moved me sexually
                                                Nothing like that was happening
It was more like the two of us
shared an affinity
& not for his subject
even though I did get religion rather young
it wasnít that
it was that we shared
an affinity for raw voice
I mean
the sheen
radiating off this guyís voice
was like sun on snow
bright and burning
                        & this guy knew how to melt a crowd
He was the madmanís equivalent
to Frank Sinatra
 
But after one look at the crowd of faces
he was ranting & raving at
                        it was obvious
that more than a couple
of casual observers
wanted to shout out
Oh what a bunch of horseshit
                        but they didnít
& I didnít
& you know
I think itís because I got religion
very young
 
But I guess Iím embarrassed that I donít have
            any direct quotes to share with you
                        because I bet youíd appreciate that
I guess I could spit out a few
snipits of this and that
God and rhetoric & the like
but that wouldnít do him justice
you know?
& Iím not in the business
of misquoting madmen
or doing them justice
for that matter
But even if I had written down
his exact words
they would have been just that                       
words
& words are just words without delivery
                        & like I said
it wasnít what he said that kept me sitting
in front of that fountain
pretending to read
It was how he said it
so I guess I should have
tape-recorded his red raw voice for you
but Iím not in the business
of carrying around tape-recorders everywhere I go
But maybe thatís the lesson here
maybe we should all be carrying around tape-recorders
                                    wherever we go
just taping everything everyone says
everywhere
because Iíve found that people say the most interesting things
when they arenít trying to say anything
Like youíll be having dinner with a friend
                                                & sheíll say
You know
I think men can be led into intimacy
                        but they donít go there
& you think
yeah
you know what
I think youíre right
Iíve just never heard it put that way
But then try to have a conversation
with one of these people stuck on intellectuality
& youíll probably hear something like
Communication between a man & a woman
is always a matter of balancing
conflicting needs for involvement
& independence
Now
which one sounds more like horseshit?
                        and Iím not asking you about the what
but about the how
the way itís said
because the what in both cases is valid
right?
                        theyíre saying the same damn thing
But you must admit
that one of them is saying it
in an inherently more
interesting way
than the other
                                    & if I had a point
that would be it
 
So the guy at the institution of higher learning
            knew about the how
                        & so I stayed & listened
& after about an hour
I just had to get up and walk away
& it wasnít because heíd offended me
            because Iíd gotten religion very young
I guess I finally left out of sadness and self-loathing
I realized that Iíd never be the talker he is
& I know Iíll never believe as much
in anything as he does
not to mention that I donít have the balls to get up
in front of a random group of people & talk about
what I believe in
But what I do believe in
is the integrity of insanity
& itís obvious heís come to terms with himself
& in the end
whatís more important
than that?
Maybe youíve already come to terms
Maybe youíve already signed the contract
You know
I think decisions get decided too easily
                                                like for instance
youíll be trying to decide whether to move out of your apartment
& finally youíll decide to stay because youíd miss
talking to the crazy old neighbor woman upstairs
or because you get great water pressure in the shower
& everybody knows that apartment-living
essentially comes down to water-pressure
 
So maybe youíve already
made your decision
                        Maybe you would have got up & left
two minutes into the madmanís monologue
Maybe thatís what separates you
from me
            Maybe youíve already decided the way it goes for you
Iím not in the business of figuring things out for you
                                    but if I was
                                                I might ask you
whether the way you are
is the way it goes for you
                        whether the way it goes
is the way you are
 
I canít talk about the way things go
for me
because the self canít talk
about the self
in terms of the way it goes
because the self doesnít go
anywhere
The self can only talk about the way it is
So for me
itís the way it is
not the way it goes
& in the end itís really all about
the way it is
isnít it?
 
Do we
understand one another?
Do we understand?
Do we?

Voice

Scott Siders

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer

Improvised and recorded live in the studio

4. Spastic Colon 4:15

(O) 404 Not Found - "Spastic Colon" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Richard           
a very white  
well-dressed
corporate man
walks down main street
past meter maids & street sweepers
& opens the door to Flamingo Joeís
flower shop
 
Itís Valentineís Day
 
Standing there peering at roses
he focuses on the stems
                        the thorns there
pricks his finger
on several of them &
when he fails to draw blood
thinks these wonít do                               
Then out comes Joe with a fresh batch           
tall & erect
            obviously just plucked from the earth
their red lips pressed tightly together
Our man Richard finds
the perfect dozen
every stem drawing blood
                        & as he jerks them from the bucket
he notices a small trembling           
a sharp discomfort in his stomach
Having reached its destination     
the meatball sandwich he ate at lunch
is fighting it out with
the rumínícokes
he washed it down with
 
He quickly makes his way to the counter
hands over his credit card                            
& waits
the trembling
now
most certainly
a rumbling
 
Regardless of this development  
our man Richard stands
                        almost patiently at the counter
signs the paper           
& walks out with the roses
            heís purchased for his wife
or his girlfriend       
his wife           
or girlfriend
            he hasnít decided exactly
                        but probably theyíre for
                                    the wife
 
Up the street               
next stop                
jewelry
a more difficult situation           
The options are overwhelming like
the gurgling in his stomach is overwhelming
Inside the glass
everything is glitter           
The counter is packed with men     shifting for position
Our man Richard   
no stranger to the game
maneuvers his way to the front           
the jewels laid out on display
like newborn children
 
A diamond is a girlfriendís best friend
            & Richard wastes no time pointing out
                        the necklace he wants
A ring would be too difficult                       
& besides
            his body is ALL SYSTEMS GO
his bowels getting the green light
Heís sweating                       
pausing a moment to hold back
            disaster
                        his cheeks squeezed together
                                    as if he were making
freshly squeezed shit juice
Wiping sweat from his brow               
our man keeps his cool
says Boy, you guys got Ďem
packed in here today, huh?
the man nods                   
wraps up the necklace
                                    & Richard abruptly hands the credit card over
 
& out into the early evening he goes
            his sphincter working harder than
                        a one-legged mule in an ass-kicking contest
 
Our man gingerly situates himself in his Lexus
            drives from the curb
ever so slowly
                                    mingles with the traffic
ever so easily
 
& then the light changes yellow
The guy in the Chevy slams the brakes
            & Richard stops just inches from the bumper
            Heís shouting
Go      
Motherfucker             
Go!
 
& in all the excitement Richardís sphincter
eases its grip
                        & a minor explosion stings him
to the seat
 
The next ten minutes are a blur                 
Richard races home              
the war inside him
battling steadily on                       
the whole way                       
the radioman wishing everyone
a happy Valentineís Day
 
Finally home              
our man grabs the flowers
                        stuffs the necklace in his overcoat &
his legs           
sprung at the knees like a cowboyís
he ventures towards the house with roses
outstretched
 
As he crosses the threshold of the house   
however
                        our manís spastic colon erupts
from its rigid
road-sign sphincter
into the mutability of the off-road
underwear world
 
The wife greets him at the door with wine
& a smile               
At the sight of her
            he lets go the roses
the thorns shredding his hands
His terrified face says it all                     
She screams and spills the wine
 
Our man
frozen in February                 
his mouth is speechless
open
Richardís already spoken            
His face says it all

Voice

Scott Siders

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly

5. Some Rhythm Please 3:37

(O) 404 Not Found - "Some Rhythm Please" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1


Words

Some rhythm, please...
Now?
Now.

Voice

Mike Roadifer - the polite commander

Sam Duray - the questioner

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly and audio manipulation

No musical instruments were used on this track.  Everything you hear is made of manipulated audio waveforms, taken from one 4 second recording of Mike and Sam in the mid-1980's.

6. Nightmare Lullaby 6:35

(O) 404 Not Found - "Nightmare Lullaby" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
 
I want to go to sleep alone and wake up next to you
I want the alarm clock in my brain to stop blaring that Bee Gees song
I want to know what itís like to fall out of a dream and into a nightmare
I want to know why we say we can live our dreams but not our nightmares
I want to walk boldly into my nightmare and dream my way out of it
I want to wake up one morning and not feel tired
I donít want to wear my shoes anymore
I canít sleep with you touching me
Only rainy days are normal itís not fair
This doesnít make any sense
 
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
 
How can I grow up get a job get rich & famous with this haircut?
How can I win the lottery with these terrible social skills?
Why do my eyes always match the color of my shirt yet I can never match my shoes with 
     anything?
Why is my dad colorblind?
It must be a conspiracy
He sees everything in shades of gray itís not fair
Think of just a few of the things heís missing out on
How about the real reflection of an orange moon or a red brick house or those pictures
     from the Hubble telescope
Perhaps colors are only in mindspace
Thereís no frame of reference
Fuck it. . .paint me red
 
I want to talk you to death
 
How come nobody wants to join the revolution against genetic mutations?
Think how happy youíd make my dad
Nobody cares how hard my dad works and after another long damn day he canít even
     see the color of my momís eyes
Or the colors of traffic lights or nipples or even the way whiskey settles into a glass
 
I want to talk you to death
 
I want to be man enough to tear out my eyes and throw them at you
If I was man enough would you be woman enough to be my girlfriend
I didnít think so Iím crazy and even diagnosed
Would you get naked anyway?
 
I want to talk you to death
 
I want to be the first politician to come out against family values
I want to stand up in front of a mass of people and talk about my problems
I want to be the first politician to make no promises
I want to go to the White House and leave my own splattering of semen in the oval
     office
Letís load the congress with junkies and see what happens
I think itís about time we all came out of this American closet
We should all relocate to Siberia and start all over
Iíll be the first president to win on the anti-family anti-education anti-hope ballot
Iím not negative Iím just out of practice
I need to work on my people skills I need serious help with my image
If I get elected Iíll do everything I can to improve my own bank account
If I get elected Iíll smile and look great in a three-piece suit
Iím not making any promises Iím practicing my handshake
If I get elected I want respect no more of this talking behind my back
It doesnít matter Iíll be assassinated for my connections with the Siberian mob
 
Letís be perfectly clear on one point I never set out to hurt anyone
Except the immigrant girlfriend I had on the side I mean hell she knew I was married and
     all
They say you canít love someone until you love yourself
I know Iím not the first to say it but again Iíll say thatís a dump truck load of horseshit
You canít hate yourself until you love someone
As your president I promise Iíll never hate you
As your president I promise Iíll never love you
As your president Iíll live in luxury and youíll live in filth you scoundrels
 
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
 
I want to show up drunk to my next appointment with my shrink
I want to hear about my shrinkís problems
I bet all his kids are alcoholics
Hey doctor what the fuckís wrong with you
Hey doctor give me a handful of pills
Hey doctor watch me gargle them down with whiskey right from the bottle
 
I want to talk you to death
 
My shrink never wants to hang out with me when heís not getting paid itís not fair
We could get drunk spend all night talking about the psychology of psychology
He pretends to be interested in me and Iím actually very interested in psychology so it 
     might actually work out in a way
He could at least invite me over for steaks and corn on the cob to meet the family
His kids and I could get drunk and talk about how he never cared about us never spent 
     any quality time
 
I want to talk you to death
 
Hey doctor Iím out of meds
Hey doctor figure me out already my pockets are drying up
Hey doctor prescribe me a bucket of every drug legal or otherwise
Iíll tell you what works
I always wanted to be a guinea pig for this sort of thing
Listen you better start prescribing or itís gonna get ugly
Hey doctor donít make me do anything stupid
Hey doctor donít make me crazy Iím begging you
We need each other to survive I donít like our relationship
You need money I need mind
 
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
 
I need to learn a new language so I can make my talks with myself more interesting
I want to translate poems into language and spell out my illiteracy
Where do I sign hey where can I pay for amnesia?
I want to walk up to a stranger on the street and start singing that damn Bee Gees song
Something happen soon itís a serious position weíve squirmed into
Look at us if weíre not sick of each other weíre sick of ourselves
Youíre making me sick Iím trying to fully realize how lost lost is
Iím sick of my body telling me what to do Iíll never grow up
My body wants out of itself itís not fair
 
I want you to know what it feels like to covet
I want you to know what it means to be coveted
If I ever do anything great it will be to lose my mind
This doesnít make any sense
 
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death
I want to talk you to death

Voice

Scott Siders

Music

Todd Bradley - keyboards and audio manipulation

7. Minor Explosions 1:45

(O) 404 Not Found - "Minor Explosions" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Minor explosions
A minor explosion stings him to the seat

Voice

Scott Siders

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly

8. What It Sounds Like To Be Todd 4:04

(O) 404 Not Found - "What It Sounds Like To Be Todd" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

My problem began while I was lifting weights at my health club one day several years ago. Until that day, I don't remember ever having anything wrong with my hearing. All of a sudden, as I was exerting myself, my ears got a very full feeling. It felt like ears do when you go up or down in a plane, as if they needed to pop. But it wasn't that. The strange sensation went away a few minutes later, after I finished the set and caught my breath.

Since then, my ears regularly do this to me. It happens several times a day-mostly right after I stand up from lying down or when I'm lifting something heavy, but sometimes it just happens for no reason at all. When my ears do this weird thing, it has an effect on my hearing.

My sensation of most sounds gets just slightly dulled. However, the sound of my own voice suddenly gets very loud and boomy to the point of discomfort. When this happens, I usually stop talking because it's so irritating. 

(pause)

Sometimes I can pop my ears and the sound goes back to normal. But other times, my ears stay this way for 10 or 15 minutes, and if I have to talk, I do so very quietly.

My doctor couldn't tell what was wrong with me, so I went to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. He did some tests and put me on some kind of steroids for a week. That didn't help, so he performed surgery on me to put tubes in my ears. Having the anesthetic needle stuck straight into my eardrum was probably the worst pain I've had in my life. After the eardrums were numb, he took a little scalpel like an X-acto knife and pierces small slits in each eardrum. Into the slits, he put tiny plastic tubes. This was to guarantee that the pressure on the inside of the eardrum was always equalized with the pressure on the outside.

Unfortunately, the tubes didn't solve the problem. They fell out naturally several months later, and the ear doctor said he didn't know of anything else he could do for me. He said that maybe the problem would just go away in another year or so.

So I waited another year. The problem didn't go away. Having exhausted the options of traditional medicine, I tried acupuncture. I started seeing a guy who's supposed to be one of the best acupuncturists around. He's written books and has been an instructor in that field. But several visits and several hundred dollars later, his needles and matches weren't having any effect on my ears.

Now it's been about six years since my last treatment and the problem is still there. A while ago, I decided to try to simulate what it sounds like to be me. What you just heard was the result. It's very sad to be a musician and have ears that don't work right.

Sincerely,
Todd Bradley

Voice

Todd Bradley - the depressing narrator

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly and audio manipulation

9. Minjyl 3:16

(O) 404 Not Found - "Minjyl" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer and music assembly

10. Jesus Heals My Feminine Itching 0:52

(O) 404 Not Found - "Jesus Heals My Feminine Itching" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Jesus heals my feminine itching.  Jesus heals my feminine itching.

Voice

Bob the Robot - the manly voice

Todd Bradley - backup vocals and harmony

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer

11. Team 30+ TFC Team 1 Anthem 2:39

(O) 404 Not Found - "Team 30+ TFC Team 1 Anthem" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Your attention please!  Team 30+ will capture your flag.  All enemy personnel may expect extreme pain.  You may die from a grenade.  You may die from a gun.  You may die from a pipe.  You may die from the doctor.  You may die from a rocket.  You may die on the bridge.  You may die on the elevator.  You may die in the tunnel.  But there is no escape from Team 30+.  Please have a nice day.

Voice

The Half-Life Announcement Computer - narration

Music

Todd Bradley - music assembly and audio manipulation

12. Flowers 6:41

(O) 404 Not Found - "Flowers" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Itís spring now & even though
I despise sentimentality
                        lately Iíve been thinking
a lot
about flowers
            Iíve been looking at them
for long periods of time
            & I must admit that I am not
                        impressed
Itís not that I donít like flowers
How can anyone not like them?
I can say I donít love flowers
but I canít say I donít like them but
            like I said Iím not all that
impressed by them
Suppose I said I donít
now
nor have I ever
owned
or raised a flower
which is true
Iíve been asking myself
            ďWhat is the difference anyway?
                        Do you own a flower
or do you just raise it?Ē
            which I donít pretend to be
                        a small task
 
I donít think you can own a flower
because things you own
donít change naturally
like my stereo or sofa, for instance
but flowers are living things
& you canít really own living things
because they change all the time
whether you like it or not
& owning something means
you get to control that sort of thing
& you canít control change
So if you can own a flower
you can own a living thing
& if you can own a living thing
you can own your girlfriend or wife, for instance
but just try to do that for one minute
& youíll find you no longer have
a girlfriend or a wife    
 
Now
perhaps Iíve offended many of you
by only mentioning girlfriends and wives
so letís just use the words
ďsignificant otherĒ to cover all of it
A significant other is somebody
you donít own
but you keep around
because you donít feel good enough
by yourself
& so you keep somebody close to you
who you believe to be more significant than yourself
or I guess if you arenít a depressive type
you just think of it as that person
making you feel more significant
 
But flowers donít have to worry about this sort of thing
They only have to worry about staying alive
which means you
have to worry about raising them
But if you think about flowers like that
theyíre like children
& youíre responsible for raising them
which includes feeding them
& giving them shelter
& even saying kind things to them every day
or if youíre the depressive type
            maybe just from time to time
 
& anyway if you think about flowers like this
the whole business isnít so simple
& we like things to be simple
so flowers are difficult like
children are difficult
& if youíre lucky they grow up
and live in your house for longer than you can imagine
& when they leave you
you hope itís not out of neglect
because neglect is a prosecutable offense
& even though flowers canít afford
high-priced attorneys
or even talk
you can bet they know about guilt
& sometimes guilt is all it takes
 
Like one time
I was at my friend Lukeís apartment
& Luke isnít his real name
but recently Iíve been calling everybody ďLukeĒ
& anyway I was at his apartment
& in the kitchen he has this flower
I donít know what kind of flower it is
but itís pink & white & kind of looks
like a rose
except itís not a rose
because I know what roses look like
because I piss off my significant other
in significant ways
all the time
But anyway
when Luke was out of the room
doing whatever guys named Luke
do in the bathroom
I pulled one of the petals off the flower
& I didnít know why I did it
and I still donít
I just stood there in his kitchen
holding the petal
            moving my eyes from
petal to flower
            flower to petal
                        for several minutes
Waiting
            as if one of them was about to say
or do something
 in retaliation
but luckily they didnít
So then Luke came out
of the bathroom
& saw what I had done
& I could tell
he didnít really know
what to say
            I mean
what do you say to a guy who just
            ripped a petal from the only
                        flower in your apartment?
 
But finally he asked why Iíd done it
& I felt my eyes welling up
                        & I didnít say anything
for the longest time
            & when I finally spoke
I said ďIím sorryĒ
ďI didnít know what I was doingĒ
            ďIíll buy you a new oneĒ
                        Luke looked at the petal
then at the flower
            & then at me
                        He said nothing
as he turned on his stereo
            & sat down on his sofa
            staring at his hands
I turned & opened the door
            hurrying down the steps to my car
                        I turned on my stereo
& drove out of there
as fast as I could
                        & Luke & I havenít spoken since

Voice

Scott Siders

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer

Improvised and recorded live in the studio

13. Dance of the Squids 6:32

(O) 404 Not Found - "Dance of the Squids" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer

14. Click It 3:24

(O) 404 Not Found - "Click It!" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Words

Ingrid is the, uh, woman on, uh, NBCi.com that advertises the Quick Click, uh, feature...whatever it is.  And, um, I'm really taken with her demeanor and presentation, and uh, she's very cute.
But, uh, in case you've never seen the ad, she's, uh, she's in front of a, uh, a large audience, like some big corporate meeting.  And they've got an overhead, um, uh computer screen.
And they're advertising this feature that's like hyper linking every word on the screen.  And their thing is, she says, "Any word, click it, get information!"
And, uh, some guy out in the audience goes, "Any word?" like he wasn't paying attention.
And, uh, yeah, any word, click it, get information!
And like you know, so I'm gonna  to click on the word "the" and, uh, see, you know, what it tells me, or um.  Or like.  Now how's it gonna do this?  They say, uh, even in your email you can do this.  So I'm going to click on words that are, uh, like chat slang and stuff like that.  And like how are they gonna find information on that?  It's gonna be like...what I'm afraid of is that their Quick Click is gonna be like Microsoft Help where it tells you, you know, not like what you want to know, but how their stupid interface works.
Click it, any word, get information!
Who thought that up?  Too many, too many, uh, software guys with, uh, not, uh, not enough, not enough to do, I guess.
Any word, click it, get information!
Any word.  Hmm.  What about foreign words?  See, this is, this is odd.  You know, I don't know how this works.
So, uh.  So I went to download it the other day.  Their little, uh...they've got some...it's not only just their website, but it's like some software package that they use...that you can use that does this.
But they say it's not on like, um, Yahoo doesn't have it or whatever.  Yay-hoo.
And uh, so you have to install some software to make this work.  And um.
Like any.  So it's not like...information overload.  Any word!
So I'm in the shower.  Any word, click it!
And, click, you know.  That's like, uh, that's not... I looked it up in my dictionary the other day and it's not a - pre-computer dictionary - and click is not a verb in my dictionary.  You know, It's a sound.  Click it!
Goofy.  So, uh, anyway, click it!

Voice

Steve Genoff

Music 

Todd Bradley - music assembly

15. Bit Rot 10:57

(O) 404 Not Found - "Bit Rot" www.404notfound.net (C) 2002 v.1.0.1

Music

Todd Bradley - synthesizer, music assembly, and audio manipulation


Total Running Time 66:02

 


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